De trap onder de zee...

 Nacht.

Ik loop het strand op.

Het vochtige grijze zand vermengt zich met de grijze nevel.

Samen vormen ze één grote grijze golvende massa.

Grote grijze betonnen golven razen door de mist.

Ze storten zich op de kust.

Daar breken ze af tot zand en water.

Door het grauwe zand haast het water zich terug naar zee.

Een nieuwe breker vormt zich.

Als de golf zich verheft,

alvorens zich op de kust te storten,

lijkt ze op een oude gesluierde vrouw.

Met een diepe zucht werpt ook zij zich onverbiddelijk op het strand.

Ze breekt en rent weer terug om opnieuw te beginnen.

Dan komt er weer één.

En nog één, en weer en weer.

Langzaam trek ik mijn kleren uit.

De kou bijt mijn lichaam.

Ik huiver, kou en angst voor de betonnen golven.

Het water in lopend hoor ik het water dat weer naar zee vlucht roepen.

Terug, terug, opnieuw, nóg een keer.

Er komt een golf op me af.

Grijzend probeert het Waterwijf me terug op het strand te gooien.

Met al mijn kracht gooi ik me door de golf heen.

Lachend gooit ze zichzelf op het strand.

Terug, terug, opnieuw, nóg een keer. Hoor ik haar roepen.

De mist lost op.

Heen en weer geslingerd door de golven zie ik de Melkweg in de nachtlucht.

Dan ga ik plots kopje onder.

Van onder water, door de donkere golf en het schuim heen, zie ik de sterrenhemel veranderen.

Doorzichtige monsters strekken hun tentakels uit.

Ze lachen en duwen me verder onder water.

Rondtollend word ik plotseling weer op het strand geworpen.

Terug, terug, opnieuw, nóg een keer roept de zee.

Ik krabbel terug naar de vloedlijn.

Er klapt nog een golf voor mijn voeten neer.

Murmelend terugrennend naar zee roept ze naar me.

Je bent nog niet klaar om een golf te worden.

Je moet eerst leren breken.

En opnieuw beginnen.

Terug, terug, opnieuw, nóg een keer.

Nooit opgeven, hoe hopeloos het ook lijkt.

Terug, terug, opnieuw, nóg een keer.

Save me from evil

 SAVE ME FROM EVIL

One time,

I had this beautiful girlfriend.

I loved her so very much,

although she was a bit awkward,

like me.

In a previous relation

she'd be battered and downed

emotionally torn apart, abused,

humiliated and left behind

like a bag of trash.

She sought refuge 

in a Christian woman's home.

They sheltered, nourished, and protected her

without any questions.

Until one day the priest came.

Daughter have you sinned

he asked in the shelter 

of the confession chair.

In the belief all guilt

was on her, she told him everything.

he was so compassionate

he invited her to the Parish house.

She was invited to retell her story,

The priest embraced and cherished her.

All of a sudden his hands were everywhere.

Under her skirt, between her legs,

on her breasts.

She was so confused,

this had to be real love!

They met several more times,

always in secret, she was enchanted

with this newly found love.

Then, prying eyes noticed their secret,

the priest avoided her,

led her to despair.

Sunday morning sermon she showed up,

only wearing a raincoat 

she walked down the aisle,

dropped her raincoat

and stood there naked like Eve.

Here I am, tell them how you love me,

like you love Jesus,

for all the wrongdoings that befell on me

like Jesus was betrayed and tortured.

The priest choked, then denied,

then he expelled her from the church.

Helpful believers threw her out,

her raincoat followed.

There she lay naked in the churchyard.

She was thrown out of the Christian home

and wandered the streets for several weeks

until we met. Her desperate eyes 

and stunning beauty struck me like a hammer.

At that time a had a small chamber in a boardinghouse,

I invited her in, she dropped her suitcase

Undressed and laid herself on the small bed.

Let's have it done she said.

Despite her beauty, I couldn't

She was laying there like a mummy

with empty eyes.

I laid myself beside her,

there is no obligation I said,

She turned over and fell asleep.

At night I would go to Gabriel,

a well-known disco at that time,

as a photographer for the night events.

She was dancing there 

like Kate Bush, swirling around the dancefloor.

Dodging and evading all the boys that took an interest in her.

At first, I thought that it was because she was faithful to me.

A couple of days later, when I got home,

her suitcase and her few belongings were gone.

The next night I found out she settled in with a girlfriend.

That girl was quite hostile towards me at first.

So I invited her for a chat in the Harlequin,

a quiet Bar where the more "intelligent" people would gather.

It took some time to convince her I was concerned

about our mutual friend.

I told her what I knew, and what our relationship was.

She looked relieved, we agreed to stay in touch.

Three weeks later she was at my door.

There had been an accident at a railway passage,

the Police had asked her to identify a body,

in the purse, they found her address,

She was afraid to go alone.

We, two strangers, went to the morgue. 

Together we identified her. But we couldn't give any details

about next of kin.

So we mentioned the Christian home for women,

Strangely they never heard of her before,

nor did the Parish.

We were together at the grave

of someone, we hardly knew.

And not a priest in sight.